En00by

The Vampire Diaries series / L. J. Smith (1991)
The Awakening
The Struggle
The Fury
Dark Reunion
The Return: Nightfall
The Return: Shadow Souls
The Return: Midnight

( a lot of them have been published in recent years )

To everyone and anyone.

This is for the countless who I have ever tailed, irritated, angered, agonized, offended, appalled, vexed, irked, bothered, negatively astounded, abused or affected in similar ways otherwise not specified.

In all ways, my existence is asinine. All of my output is the repulsive, idiotic, vapid product of a functionally retarded mind. I should have never plagued any poor soul with my disgusting mug. In fact, it would be advisable for me to cease existing. My face is nothing short of horrifying and health depriving. I can confidently announce that I have been repeatedly begged to leave poor lives alone. All those who have met me have already suffered enough. It is becoming clear that I am a threat to the physical, emotional and mental well being of myself and others at all times. Such regard for authority as such drivel will not be taken lightly. I am morally, ethically, spiritually, physically, positively, absolutely, undeniably, and reliably USELESS. I cannot even conduct myself with class while following the basic rules of etiquette.

I, the pathetic excuse for a child, have been following the most innocent folks around like a lap dog every day since the dawn of my existence. I do not live up to any acceptable standards. Innocent bystanders, you are not to blame. I, the ill-favoured creature, am clearly delusional in believing I am good enough for anyone. You have done nothing wrong and it has been wished upon that I would leave you alone. You all have had enough to worry about without me following you around like the dog I am.

For those who I have yet to torture: I hope you deeply enjoy the fact that I am not around to make your wonderful like dreadful. I would like to accept your appreciation for not subjecting you to this awful affliction.

Go take this infidel to the lake and feed her to the giant squid.
I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU ALL.
Have a nice day.

She's hurt herself again and waits until she feels
She drowns in all this pain and can't tell if it's real
Her sanity's all gone so she incises deep
Persisting until dawn, she's finally asleep

She is still breathing fine, but losing all her life
Her fingers intertwined, she cannot see the light
She knows that it was her who left her in this mess
Still making herself hurt, she is drifting to rest

She covers up her scars so no one knows they're there
She lives deep in the dark and no one seems to care
Never noticed for years, it goes on every night
Now no longer a fear, skin an imperfect sight

So far from innocence, she did this to herself
Her life never made sense, in sorrow she's ingulfed
She wakes up still alive to find her work's not done
Disappointment revived, she lived and saw the sun

Through bright-lit eyes and youthful curls,
The lad observes the yearning girl.
Their laughter echoes through the night.
Two kids in love - a pretty sight!
And then they kissed.

I threaten people by telling them I want to drink their blood.

by

moralityisweak
To the tune of "The Tango: Maureen" from "Rent."
(A group of reviewers, including VOLDEMORT, LUPIN, SNAPE, LUCIUS, DUMBLEDORE, DRACO and MCGONAGALL are commenting on the idiosyncrasies of dear Tara.)
 
SNAPE
In Merlin's name I pray
That Miss Tara will just go away
Somewhere else, anywhere.
VOLDEMORT
12 Grimmauld Place!
DUMBLEDORE and MCGONAGALL
Anywhere but there!

 

I do not own the lyrics of these parodies. These were written by

moralityisweak (if I'm not mistaken). He wrote reviews as Lord Voldemort when the fic was new. He was a member of the IMDb boards and discussed the story there. This one was probably posted as a review. There is another one posted on IMDb (the thread was deleted but I saved the song on MS Word) which I will post here later.

"Improve Your Stuff"
To the tune of "Skid Row" from "Little Shop of Horrors."

 

 LORD VOLDEMORT
Your work,
It gets me heaving
Because it's so bad
Nobody is delighting
In this writing
Which just sucks so much

The girl’s name is Ebony Way
Wants to be kin to Gerard Way
She has three silly middle names
Reviewers always want to flame

Christmas is a waste of time and resources. Same goes for Boxing Day, Valentine's day, the summer holidays, Halloween, and every other Hallmark commercial holiday. Screw gift cards. I don't want anything.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland   "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
Boston
The West
North Central
Philadelphia
The Northeast
The Inland North
The South
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

You Scored as Horrorpunk Ah, the horrorpunk. You probably have a fucking devilock, you scary bastard. Nothing against you, truly original in yourself, so keep mass murdering so the crusts have something to bitch about... only kidding. Horrorpunk 81% Emo 75% Crust Punk 75% Skate Punk 75% Anarchopunk 75% Street/Chaos Punk 50% Ska 50% Pop Punk 19%

You Scored as Death Rocker You are a Death Rocker. You think beyond the 80s (cause you really like zombies, psychedelia, and B-movies) and are into the colorful, twisted side of the goth culture (which is portrayed in all your lovely horror-rock shows). Click on my name to take my other tests if you liked this one. Death Rocker 83% Old-school Goth 79% Romantic Goth 79% Perky Goff 79% Anything-Goes Goth 67% Cyber-goth 58% Ethereal Goth 58% Fantasy Goth 54% Industrial/Rivet-Head 42% Confused Outsider 25% Understanding Outsider 17%

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

She's the girl who loves him for who he is
They're showered in love with hugs and kisses
They would wait and stay in love forever
Cherish every day they spend together

Blessed with all this love, they cannot forget
Deeds they've done for each other since they met
They walk through the hall, tightly holding hands
They're happy being much more than just friends

She's a beautiful, laid back, sun kissed girl
She's better than anything in his world
He is so cute, you'd love to love him too
But he would rather be with her than you

They will stay together until the end
They each have a kind helping hand to lend
They'll sleep together for eternity
The strength in their love defines unity

But too bad I didn't get to go to Canada Place for the Parades and stuff.

Finally. I'm glad it's over, but I'll miss many people. It was quite a rough year, and probably the most eventful. I didn't like many people in my grade, anyways. In 2 months I'll be going to another school.

It was raining and sunny at the same time this afternoon, kind of like in My Immortal, where it was snowing and raining. But this weather is possible. And no, there was no colourful, preppy rainbow.