En00by

Vampire reading list

2009-06-04T00:02:59Z

The Vampire Diaries series / L. J. Smith (1991)
The Awakening
The Struggle
The Fury
Dark Reunion
The Return: Nightfall
The Return: Shadow Souls
The Return: Midnight

Thirsty / M.T. Anderson (1997)

Cirque du Freak series / Darren Shan (2000)
~~Cirque du Freak~~ (7/31/09)
Vampire's Assistant
Tunnels of Blood
Vampire Mountain
Trials of Death
Vampire Prince
Hunters of the Dusk
Allies of the Night
Killers of the Dawn
Lake of Souls
Lord of the Shadows
Sons of Destiny

Midnight Predator / Amelia Atwater-Rhodes (2002)

Vampire Kisses series / Ellen Schreiber (2003)
~~Vampire Kisses~~ (5/19/09)
~~Kissing Coffins~~ (5/26/09)
~~Vampireville~~ (6/8/09)
~~Dance with a Vampire~~ (6/27/09)
Coffin Club
Royal Blood

Vampire Beach series / Alex Duval (2006)
Bloodlust
Initiation
Ritual
Legacy
High Stakes
Hunted

High school bites / Liza Conrad (2006)

Good ghouls do / Julie Kenner (2007)

Tantalize / Cynthia Leitich Smith (2007)

Uninvited / Amanda Marrone (2007)

Vampire Academy / Richelle Mead (2007)
Vampire Academy
Frostbite
Shadow Kiss
Blood Promise

Evernight series / Claudia Gray (2008)
Evernight
Stargazer
Hourglass
Afterlife

Sucks to be me : the all-true confessions of Mina Hamilton, teen vampire (maybe) / Kimberly Pauley (2008)

Mortal Instruments series / Cassandra Clare (2009)
City of Bones
City of Ashes
City of Glass

~~Jessica's guide to dating on the dark side~~ / Beth Fantaskey (2009) 7/16/09

Tara's apology, as imagined by me

2009-03-06T00:00:18Z

To everyone and anyone.

This is for the countless who I have ever tailed, irritated, angered, agonized, offended, appalled, vexed, irked, bothered, negatively astounded, abused or affected in similar ways otherwise not specified.

In all ways, my existence is asinine. All of my output is the repulsive, idiotic, vapid product of a functionally retarded mind. I should have never plagued any poor soul with my disgusting mug. In fact, it would be advisable for me to cease existing. My face is nothing short of horrifying and health depriving. I can confidently announce that I have been repeatedly begged to leave poor lives alone. All those who have met me have already suffered enough. It is becoming clear that I am a threat to the physical, emotional and mental well being of myself and others at all times. Such regard for authority as such drivel will not be taken lightly. I am morally, ethically, spiritually, physically, positively, absolutely, undeniably, and reliably USELESS. I cannot even conduct myself with class while following the basic rules of etiquette.

I, the pathetic excuse for a child, have been following the most innocent folks around like a lap dog every day since the dawn of my existence. I do not live up to any acceptable standards. Innocent bystanders, you are not to blame. I, the ill-favoured creature, am clearly delusional in believing I am good enough for anyone. You have done nothing wrong and it has been wished upon that I would leave you alone. You all have had enough to worry about without me following you around like the dog I am.

For those who I have yet to torture: I hope you deeply enjoy the fact that I am not around to make your wonderful like dreadful. I would like to accept your appreciation for not subjecting you to this awful affliction.

Go take this infidel to the lake and feed her to the giant squid.
I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU ALL.
Have a nice day.

The Tango: "You're Mean"

2008-02-06T03:13:17Z

moralityisweak
To the tune of "The Tango: Maureen" from "Rent."
(A group of reviewers, including VOLDEMORT, LUPIN, SNAPE, LUCIUS, DUMBLEDORE, DRACO and MCGONAGALL are commenting on the idiosyncrasies of dear Tara.)

SNAPE
In Merlin's name I pray
That Miss Tara will just go away
Somewhere else, anywhere.
VOLDEMORT
12 Grimmauld Place!
DUMBLEDORE and MCGONAGALL
Anywhere but there!

LUPIN
She's so odd.
LUCIUS
Quite odd.
LUPIN
Very odd...
VOLDEMORT
Holy God,
She's so bad that it's hard to comprehend.
DRACO
Sex with me she allows!
VOLDEMORT
I speak in "thees" and "thous"
LUPIN
And she can't write a cliffhanger end!
MCGONAGALL
When you leave a review,
She won't listen to you
Even though all her nonsense is routine.
DUMBLEDORE
I went after her once
And her stupid response
Was just "I hate you, you're mean!"
ALL
The tango "you're mean"
It's a fate none of us has escaped
As she keeps on writing,
Your mind she's blighting!
And you start to go mad,
'Cause no one is this bad
Any standards you had
Have been raped!
She writes the worst trash we've seen!
Yet still says "you're mean!"
MCGONAGALL
Have you seen her make errors that
Could be called glaring?
VOLDEMORT (spoken)
Of course.
DUMBLEDORE
On my character she completely shat!
I was swearing!
SNAPE
Did you scream when you read what she wrote?
LUCIUS
Every time. Filty muggle.
DRACO
Did she dream I had sex with her?
Against that I've always struggled!
MCGONAGALL (spoken)
It's hard to remember everything she's done wrong!
VOLDEMORT (spoken)
Thou shouldst try it in middle English!
(sung)
It's craven!
DRACO
It's craven!
DUMBLEDORE
Her safe haven
MCGONAGALL
Is with Raven.
ALL
She's behavin'
Badly, she should screw off.
Oh, her temper is quite bad,
The worst one in sight!
Too bad that she's not even "goff"
When you're flaming her fic
You feel pretty sick
You flame all her schtick
Step by step.
Even though you are right,
There's no point in your fight.
You're still called a nerd or a prep!

The tango "you're mean"
Gotta flame 'til she leaves Hogwarts school!
And your mind you're consoling
By hoping that she is trolling!
But you know deep inside
That this crap's bona fide.
You act snide, you're denied
By the fool...
SNAPE
To think she's silver and green...
DUMBLEDORE
Of her the school should be clean...
(TARA's voice briefly interrupts the song)
TARA
sryoopid prezp! sotp ur mean!
(The characters resign themselves.)
ALL
The tango..."you're mean!"

Songs I didn't write

2008-02-05T05:33:10Z

I do not own the lyrics of these parodies. These were written by

moralityisweak (if I'm not mistaken). He wrote reviews as Lord Voldemort when the fic was new. He was a member of the IMDb boards and discussed the story there. This one was probably posted as a review. There is another one posted on IMDb (the thread was deleted but I saved the song on MS Word) which I will post here later.

"Improve Your Stuff"
To the tune of "Skid Row" from "Little Shop of Horrors."

LORD VOLDEMORT
Your work,
It gets me heaving
Because it's so bad
Nobody is delighting
In this writing
Which just sucks so much

DEATH EATERS
Sing it, Lord!

LORD VOLDEMORT
You are out of touch!
Because your...
Writing
Causes pain untold,
Yes, your
Writing's
Like a six-year-old's,
Yes, your
Writing
Makes my bloody turn cold,
You dumb chick...
Thanks to this fic! (thanks to this fic)

Because your
Writing
Isn't worth my spit
Writing -
Is a pile of shit
Writing -
I am sick of it,
And your schtick!
Just stop this fic!

You think you're hot
But you are not that great
Lupin and Snape
Would never "masticate!"
You are so pathetic,
You retarded schlep
Not everyone that flames you
Is a "fucking prep!"
And you think your character is not a Sue
But she is just a self-insertion done by you
She's everything you wanna be
And what is more
Like all good Sues, she is a whore!
Like you, bitch.

Writing
Of yours isn't good
(Writing)
Is that understood?
(Writing)
Only your stuff could
Make me tick!

So stop this fic!
So stop this fic!
So stop this fic!
So stop this fic!
So stop this fic!
So stop this fic!
So stop this fic!

Whore! That is all you are, is a whore!
If you don't stop, worse is in store,
'Cause your intellect is so poor!
Don't be sore, kid.
Oh,
If you just stopped your bad writing
There'd be no more flames
No more attacks
But since you love to write such awful dreck
We keep flaming for fun
You're a writer who most folks would shun,
But we don't...

Writing
Almost makes us choke
'Cause your writing's
Such an awful joke
Yes, your writing
Could make any bloke
Just feel sick,
So stop this fic!

(synonymous with below)
Use spellcheck, I implore and improve your stuff
From me and Dumbledore, please improve your stuff
We'll go on and deplore, so improve your stuff
You don't make us feel glad
With this bad stuff!

You keep saying you don't care, but improve your stuff
But we all feel despair, so improve your stuff
It's too awful to bear, please improve your stuff!
We are all bloody pissed
'Cause of this stuff!

You've raped us all enough, so improve your stuff
If you cannot spell, tough, but improve your stuff

SNAPE
Ten points from Hufflepuff, so improve your stuff!

LORD VOLDEMORT
It's a cancer to read, so improve your stuff
It just makes my eyes bleed, so improve your stuff!
We're fed up as hell and we're sick of this
So we'll flame 'til you try to improve on...

DEATH EATERS (synonymous with above)
Writing...Literary slime
Writing...like this is a crime
Writing...Isn't worth our time
So stop, quick!
Writing...stop, you stupid slut
Writing...no if, and or but
Writing...Just keep your mouth shut,
You're too thick!
Writing!
Writing!
Writing...

ALL
This Fic!

"Ebony Way"

2008-02-03T05:36:37Z

The girl’s name is Ebony Way
Wants to be kin to Gerard Way
She has three silly middle names
Reviewers always want to flame

A teenage witch with pale white skin
Her best friends act as her cloned twins

[Chorus:] Ebony…Dark’ness…Dementia…Raven…Way

Vampire girl has straight white teeth
Endless despair is underneath
Icy blue eyes like limpid tears
Mary Sue never disappears
Her purple-streaked hair long and black
Red tips reach down to her mid back

[Chorus]

Her clothes are from retail chain stores
Describes everything that she wore
Corset, leather miniskirt, lace
Her beauty shows along with grace
It rains and snows so there’s no sun
She walks around and has her fun

[Bridge/Solo?]

[Chorus]

Screw the holidays

2007-12-27T01:18:01Z

Christmas is a waste of time and resources. Same goes for Boxing Day, Valentine's day, the summer holidays, Halloween, and every other Hallmark commercial holiday. Screw gift cards. I don't want anything.

heartdreamerz @ 2007-11-27T16:03:00

2007-11-27T06:29:00Z

Your Language Arts Grade: 100%

Way to go! You know not to trust the MS Grammar Check and you know "no" from "know." Now, go forth and spread the good word (or at least, the proper use of apostrophes).

Are You Gooder at Grammar?
Make a Quiz

omfg! i got all of them right!

2007-11-27T05:39:57Z

You are 100% Knowledgable regarding US State Capitals!

Excellent Work! Nicely Done! Thank you for taking this quiz. Be sure to check out the statehood quizzes here at gotoquiz.com!

Do You Know Your State Capitals?
Make a Quiz

my accent

2007-11-27T05:36:08Z

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
Boston
The West
North Central
Philadelphia
The Northeast
The Inland North
The South
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

punk

2007-11-27T05:17:08Z

You Scored as Horrorpunk

Ah, the horrorpunk. You probably have a fucking devilock, you scary bastard. Nothing against you, truly original in yourself, so keep mass murdering so the crusts have something to bitch about... only kidding.

Horrorpunk

81%

Emo

75%

Crust Punk

75%

Skate Punk

75%

Anarchopunk

75%

Street/Chaos Punk

50%

Ska

50%

Pop Punk

19%

goff

2007-11-27T05:07:48Z

You Scored as Death Rocker

You are a Death Rocker. You think beyond the 80s (cause you really like zombies, psychedelia, and B-movies) and are into the colorful, twisted side of the goth culture (which is portrayed in all your lovely horror-rock shows). Click on my name to take my other tests if you liked this one.

Death Rocker

83%

Old-school Goth

79%

Romantic Goth

79%

Perky Goff

79%

Anything-Goes Goth

67%

Cyber-goth

58%

Ethereal Goth

58%

Fantasy Goth

54%

Industrial/Rivet-Head

42%

Confused Outsider

25%

Understanding Outsider

17%

heartdreamerz @ 2007-11-26T20:48:00

2007-11-27T04:48:30Z

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Extreme
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Lulzcon

2007-08-25T20:28:39Z

Happy Canada Day!

2007-07-02T04:37:38Z

But too bad I didn't get to go to Canada Place for the Parades and stuff.

School is over

2007-06-23T02:17:16Z

Finally. I'm glad it's over, but I'll miss many people. It was quite a rough year, and probably the most eventful. I didn't like many people in my grade, anyways. In 2 months I'll be going to another school.

The Weather

2007-06-12T01:21:12Z

It was raining and sunny at the same time this afternoon, kind of like in My Immortal, where it was snowing and raining. But this weather is possible. And no, there was no colourful, preppy rainbow.

Cancer

2007-04-09T00:58:03Z

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3283705/1/
lulz
I'm in the process of writing an albumfic called Fallen.

My Immortal t-shirts

2007-04-06T00:33:50Z

Save the below pictures and print them (how ever you want) on t-shirt transfer paper. Follow manufacturer's instructions.

Fight me if you dare | Combat Cards

2007-02-08T04:58:48Z

COMBAT CARDS 2.1

to fight heartdreamerz
enter your username below

CREATE YOUR CARD

Facts about Tara Gilesbie

2007-01-13T05:43:26Z

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Tara Gilesbie!

The average duration of sexual intercourse for Tara Gilesbie is two minutes.
India tested its first nuclear Tara Gilesbie in 1974.
In the 1600s, tobacco was frequently prescribed to treat headaches, bad breath and Tara Gilesbie!
Until the 1960s, Tara Gilesbie was not allowed to enter Disneyland.
In Ancient Egypt, people wore glittery eyeshadow made from the crushed shells of Tara Gilesbie!
Louisa May Alcott, author of 'Little Tara Gilesbie', hated Tara Gilesbie and only wrote the book at her publisher's request!
Half a cup of Tara Gilesbie contains only seventeen calories!
Tara Gilesbie once lost a Dolly Parton lookalike contest.
If you drop Tara Gilesbie from more than three metres above ground level, she will always land feet-first.
Moles are able to tunnel through 300 feet of Tara Gilesbie in a day.

heartdreamerz @ 2007-01-10T15:55:00

2007-01-10T23:55:42Z

In 2007, heartdreamerz resolves to...

Admit my true feelings to pottersues.
Pay for my mary sues on time.
Volunteer to spend time with typos.
Buy new mi_inmortals.
Go to evanescence every Sunday.
Backup my mcr regularly.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, heartdreamerz sent to me...

Twelve somethings drumming

Eleven goffikgurl666s piping

Ten tara_francais a-leaping

Nine tara_nederlands dancing

Eight fatal_rob0ts a-milking

Seven weises a-swimming

Six mi_inmortals a-laying

Five po-o-o-ottersues

Four mai_imootarus

Three typos

Two mary sues

...and an evanescence in a tara gilesbie.

lol

2006-10-14T01:41:21Z

Tara is depressed because she found out that Gerard Way had a girlfriend! Tara is completely tandy.

My Icons

2006-08-15T05:00:24Z

http://www.livejournal.com/allpics.bml?user=heartdreamerz
Feel free to use them.

heartdreamerz @ 2006-08-13T17:31:00

2006-08-14T00:31:50Z

DO YOUR BEST TO MAKE TARA GILESBIE FAMOUS!!!!! PLEASE!!!

Talk on Tara's wikipedia talk page!
In case you didn't know, Tara Gilesbie is a "goffik" girl. She is known for writing a Harry Potter fanfic on FanFiction.net. Please submit reviews.
-Her profile
-She has her own Myspace group. PLEASE join.
-Her petition. Please sign.
-Her quiz
-Her livejournal
-Tara on Dandypedia
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